Sacred Sexuality Pt 2

Origins of Authenticity: Innocence

Let me tell you a little story.

Dance had always been my first language; my nourishment and identity.

Dancing validated my existence. I knew who I was because I danced.

No one had to tell me what it was; how to do it, nor give me permission to pursue it as a life path.

From childhood through my mid-twenties, this is how expressed love and life.

I danced therefore I was.

Adorned in matching pink and purple leotard, legwarmers, and headband, my face painted in operatic-heavy makeup, I danced a jazz solo in the 5th-grade talent show to a song I’d heard in the 1983 film, Flashdance- Dancing in the Sheets.

Confidently whipping out every wild move my little 10-year-old self could muster, exploding limbs flying, my performance culminated in a tribute to my idol, Michael Jackson, by moonwalking across the cafeteria stage.

The embodiment of love in action, my soul shined as fireworks shot from every cell of my body as I moved. A girl on fire.

As a result of seeing a kid their age performing on stage unabashedly AND moonwalking as well, those grammar school kids lost their minds.

Boys younger than myself who didn’t even know my name clamored around me asking for my phone number, some even asking for my autograph as if was MJ himself.

As long as I danced, I stayed in the light; my sexuality nested in a confident heart, a furnace alchemizing the trauma of my youth, filling the absence of romantic or sexual love, not dependent on a sexual partner or the limitations of physical touch or hormones. I felt loved.

When I danced my soul orgasmed. Literally.

The Seer Almine describes a soul orgasm as “ emotional rapture “ inspired by deep love, art, music, or nature.

What the Spanish poet, Federico Garcia Lorca, called “duende”. Considered a pioneer in the concept of duende, Lorca described it as “ a heightened state of emotion, expression, and authenticity that originates in the Southern Spanish folk music and dance of flamenco.”

Duende is loosely translated as ‘having soul”.

Your Authentic Expression is Your Best Protection

When I danced, it anchored my soul in my body, my body to the Earth, and allowed me to manifest abundantly while simultaneously nourishing both the body ( the body is the realm of life) and the soul ( the soul is the realm of death).

A holy union much like how true sexuality is meant to be expressed.

“Sexuality is the celebration of self, the constant awareness of the potency of our being that exudes as the sun does its light or the rose does its fragrance,” according to the Seer Almine.

Due to a cascade of unresolved karma and therefore a loss of innocence, at age 25, I stopped dancing both personally and artistically, failing to grok the full magnitude of the impact dancing and its absence had on my life.

Where there was once love and joy, grief now resided, a type of self-abandonment formed, severing the umbilical cord connecting me to the Earth, aka life, leaving me unspeakably vulnerable to entities, demonic influences, suicidal tendencies, poor health, and other shadowy forces.

Journeying through an abyss of living the opposite of my authenticity; constantly lying to myself through the choices I made, choices haunted by feelings of failure, shame, unworthiness, feeling invisible, unwanted, and eternally alone, dance eventually resurfaced as the beacon of hope I needed to shed the dark cloud of negation I trapped myself in.

It took me more than 20 years to make my way back to living my truth.

My unyielding desire to dance again saved my life.

To be continued.

Click here to read Sacred Sexuality Part 1.