Cleaning Up Karma
Red-tailed Hawk Mural, downtown Durham, NC.
“As long as my cat is OK”, I heard myself say for the 400th time to friends since the start of my plan to move from Asheville to Durham, North Carolina, as I packed my belongings into boxes again.
Making the leap solo numerous times with no car, scarce funds, on airplanes, and even over an ocean twice over the last 25 years- that I’m familiar with. But now being a cat mama intensified the instability of me hopping around post-hurricane to start a new chapter in a city I’d never seen, 3.5 hours away.
Moving out of my sublet apartment from Asheville to Durham, the only associations I have with the place are the 1988 film, Bull Durham and, each year, it hosts one of the largest dance festivals in the US.
With 3 week’s notice; a fraction of the funds needed (minus credit card backup) and not sure who would be driving us to Durham (still no car) I scrambled to arrange places to stay that I could afford for us, while also combing the internet for a one-bedroom apartment.
The first stop after leaving 5 days before the end of the month (due to the insistence of the woman I rented from), was a friend of a friend’s 3-story 1909 house in Waynesville, about 45 minutes southwest of Asheville, sitting at the gateway of the Great Smoky Mountain National Park.
Owned and occupied by what seemed like a brokenhearted bachelor-handy man/sailor, both the interior and exterior seemed to resemble his emotional state.
Swita and I stayed for 10 days in a large-sized bedroom installed with half-broken kitchen cabinetry, with ancient dusty rose walls while the sweetest yet hugest malinois and pit-bull looking mix dog named Leia lounged in the halls of this neglected house.
I was assured by Leia’s person that “she knows better” around cats, but I knew better not to test his judgement.
Karmic cleanup
While the Autumn leaves fell from the trees and Halloween came and went, I spent hours each day hunting for an affordable one-bedroom apartment within my budget, that accepted cats with a 3-4 month lease option.
Feeling frustrated and exploited due to inflated fees and restrictions by the numerous management companies I found all over Durham coupled with an obscene amount of scammers on Facebook, my nerves started to fray.
Since arriving in Waynesville, I’d felt this unabating panic; an irrational fear of being exploited, not trusting anyone I communicated with related to renting an apartment.
This transition felt like one of the most difficult I’d ever attempted.
Where did this feeling come from? And why couldn’t I shift it?
When I asked my Greater Self about this feeling and the difficulty of this transition, I heard, “ You are cleaning up Durham.”
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. RRRRRRIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHTTTT.
Sigh.
I understood what this meant. I was clearing the karma, the density that wasn’t in alignment with the reality I was creating for myself there. Like before moving into a new house, it must be ready for habitation and Durham wasn’t ready for my habitation.
In the past before moving to another state, I would need to clear fears, belief systems, or memories preventing me from aligning with the gifts/lessons needed to manifest a new chapter in the next place yet in this move instead of me needing to clear my personal fears and belief systems, it was Durham’s karma (still an aspect of myself) demanding resolution prior to my arrival.
The theme of exploitation manifested itself in the form of multiple scammers posting on Facebook groups, and conversely, through the inflated fees listed by the numerous management groups I found while apartment hunting in Durham.
The unrelenting panic only subsided when I surrendered to pay the inflated $350 non-refundable pet fee required by the management company coupled with choosing a longer lease option (Savine would have to share the one-bedroom apartment for the last 2 months of the lease.)
When all seemed lost
Determined to find a home that my cat would enjoy and I could afford, one property continued to grab my attention even though I thought it wasn’t an option.
Turns out, the University Ridge Apartments had an available one-bedroom apartment within my budget. Located on the 2nd floor with vaulted ceilings, washer and dryer, central heat and air conditioning, lined with large windows located in a mini forest-ed property in the city.
With a 6-month lease option, it included an extra room, a small ‘den’, that would be a perfect bedroom for Savine.
Everything I’d asked for was included in this tree-house of a home.
As if I needed more confirmation that this apartment was the “one,” while showing Savine this gorgeous property on Whats-app, a red-tailed hawk flew past my head so close I could hear the flap of its wings and feel the draft from its flight brush my cheek.
A doubly auspicious sign since two days prior, I’d taken a photo of a huge mural of a red-tailed hawk while exploring downtown Durham.
I had found our place.
University Ridge Apartments, Durham, NC.
